The Deafening Silence
by mskrisrose
Summary: Silence can be deafening to anyone, it may even pull apart their lives when nothing else has suceeded so far, this is especially true for Stephanie in this particular story, everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.


THE DEAFENING SILENCE

Rated; M

Summary: Silence can be shattering to anyone including Stephanie.

Disclaimer; anything recognisable belongs to the corresponding people, mainly Janet Evanovich, I make no money, etc., etc. I'm sorry if this sucks but I was thirteen when I wrote it and just wanted to know what y'all think of my overall writing and if I should post my other stories, thanks, Kris.

Definition; A significant detail revealed by a lack of response or silence.

It's been six months since I left, for what I thought was for good. Twelve months ago I managed to get a contract out on my head because of my job as a bounty hunter. My mum had been nagging me about my job in her kitchen whilst she was tipsy when I found out about this certain subject matter by a bullet going through the main kitchen window. I haven't spoken to her or the rest of my family since; they pretty much disowned me on the spot, even my always silent supporter, my dad, and my over extravagant grandma.

The funny thing is that I actually had managed to start to get training so I went outside straight after him and took a knife to his throat until he told me who took out the contract on my head and I went after them as well. It was a quick ending for him but the rumour about the contract still got out even though it was officially invalid.

It surprisingly took over a month for the rumour to get out to the burg but as usual it only took a few minutes to get through it. Vinnie, Connie and Lula agreed that I should be fired because with the 'contract' they didn't want to be associated with me and risk the business, their jobs or death and I decided if they truly believed this and couldn't stand up for me then they weren't worth it.

Since Ranger was 'in the wind' again I didn't have to worry about him so I asked Tank for a job as a research analyst and he agreed. Joe Morelli had found out about the job and the contract and used that was his excuse for cheating on me, he didn't bother to tell me we were over first and it really did hurt because he was the only thing that was left that was safe and I always thought that even if we weren't meant to be together we would be friends, I was wrong. I haven't spoken to him since and everyone in Trenton's TPD even including Eddie didn't want anything to do with me even after all that we had been through together as friends.

The only people I had left where my friends at Rangeman but that didn't last very long either. I was ignored most of the time and the only time I got any attention was when they needed something or I did something wrong just like the last day I was there.

The last day I was at Rangeman I was having an even shittier week then normal and I started to show signs of severe depression which really wasn't helping. I was running five minutes later then I normally did because I had to go and get Tank the coffee he had asked for and I got myself one to. But you heard right, he hadn't spoken to me about anything of importance just like everyone else in a few months and he rang me so I could get him coffee. When I walked into his office Ranger was standing there. He didn't even acknowledge me or look at me, the silence was deafening in the room, and you could cut the tension with a knife it was that palpable. I immediately quit, gathered all my things and walked back to my apartment.

When I got home the final straw of my breakdown occurred, I instantly felt that there was something wrong and there definitely was. There was no squeaking of Rex's wheel or any other sound or movement so I went into the kitchen and my poor baby Rex was unnaturally still and that was it for me, Rex had been the one thing I could rely on through everything and he was now gone. I threw a few changes of clothes into my duffel and put my weapons and cash on my body as well as the dog tags I acquired recently with the training.

I headed to the bus depot. I paid for a week's pass and hopped on a random bus out of state. Over the next month I hopped on different buses until a bus arrived in Miami. I still had enough money for a few months' rent so I went and found a newly developed furnished apartment that I could move into straight away.

I found a job in a Latino diner since I wanted out of the security business for a while to rid myself of the memories and I'd already had experience as a waitress from my college days so I worked there for the year especially since it allowed me to keep the apartment after I fell in love with it with all its yellows wood and open floor plan, so I was just passing the days trying to fill the deathly silence that had taken over my life over the year and a bit. The only good thing is about new my life now is with no one around there is no one to disappoint me and the fact that I'm near Miami's beach, you can't forget the always calming beach and my dog, I just got a new guard dog, an Belgian Shepard that could defend me if I was rendered incapable or a good partner if I ever needed one again that I named pup.

I really loved the beach, I went every day before and after work and that is where I was today with pup when I had that old familiar feeling of being watched as we jumped off the cliff for our daily swim. I saw someone peek over the edge as I swam and had the same feeling as we went back to my apartment.

We had a peaceful dinner although my gun next to me the whole time and it and pup followed me to my bed in our usual positions. I fell asleep deeply for the first time in a long time it made me feel like a little girl in my dad's arms yet I was awoken in the early hours of the morning to my face being pressed down into my pillow and pup was going ballistic on top of who ever had me. And I was so tired of me, of my life and I couldn't feel.

"Just hurry up and kill me already, just leave pup alone, pup get around" I couldn't even be bothered fighting for anything but him. The hand jerked back from my neck as if burned and I was then cuffed and then everything went black as I felt a slight prick in my upper arm and my body want warm and pup was yipping.

I woke up in a bed when there was light flicking through the curtains with my dog next to me licking my face and the room seemed kind of similar. I rolled out of the bed only to cry out and for the blackness to take over. The next time I woke up it was to voices I knew all too well of Lester, Bobby, Tank and Ranger.

"Can I please have a bit of water?" I mumbled trying not to draw too much attention to me but I felt all of their eyes swing in my direction. Bobby went and got me some water and put it on the table beside me and he and Lester left.

Ranger and Tank stayed but left after a few minutes for what I assumed was an emergency by the sound of the phone call they received whilst pup was snarling at them. Why they were gone I tried to sleep a bit in the chair since which is pretty hard to do when you're starting to silently let the tears stream down your face and your hands are cuffed behind your back and there is minimal circulation left.

By the time they got back I was cold, tired plus I couldn't move if I tried and I still haven't gotten to that damn water. I felt them come into the room and could feel the anger radiating off of them. I kept up the sleep pretence not moving with pup wrapped around my feet. They sat in the chairs opposite me and started talking between themselves. "I know we've been over this a thousand times but what do you think made her run?" Tank said the disgust in his voice for me obvious and Rangers reply of "I don't know but it isn't like the Stephanie that I once knew" that made me jump slightly and flinch.

"And how would you know what Stephanie would do with her life!" I spit back at them making them look at me, all pretences gone. "The Stephanie you knew, she had friends and family, I don't."

I heard them get up and Tank grabbed my chin and made me look at him, I met him with cold eyes. "What the fuck is going through your head, of course you have friends and family" He said while I laughed coldly and slightly hysterical whilst trying to move back as pup snarled with me which was a bad move on my part.

Having my hands behind my back for god knows how long with most of my circulation gone from my arms was not a good idea because as I moved back I hit my arms and automatically twisted to the side in pain which made it so much worse as I fell off the chair. I tried to keep quiet as I sobbed on the floor. "Get up" Ranger hissed and all I could do was shake my head no, he thought I was better after training but it didn't feel like it with them right now as I would normally fight, so would pup, this is pathetic.

I was drug up by my underarms "FUCK" I pretty much screamed as pain coursed through me and I blacked out hard. I awoke to someone rubbing my arms as pup was on my feet quietly growling and whispering again, this was getting annoying. "I can't believe we forgot about the cuffs for that long, she has to be in pain" Ranger said. I pulled away and onto my chair "I'm sorry" I said getting back into the position they put me in before and bowed my head in submission, hoping they would get all this over with and I could leave in one way or another.

"Babe, Bomber" they both said at once and Ranger let out a strangled noise when I didn't answer. Shit, what have I done? They may have hurt me but I was no better than them. "Why did you leave?" Tank asked ignoring Ranger and the now viciously snarling pup, hey I didn't say he was perfect, just perfect for me. "Because I had no friends and family here so I tried to start over" I replied.

"Of course you do" Tank said. "No I don't, unless you class people they don't care and only call when they need something or to get gossip or nag friends or family and show no love what so ever, I've got plenty of those" was my reply. "But we don't treat you like that" Ranger said. "Bullshit, before I left, when was the last time you talked to me and what for and my family disowned me." They took a fair while to respond. "Fine let me tell you, Tank, you called me to bring you coffee and hadn't talked to me in over a month before that and Ranger the last time we talked was three weeks before you went to go into the wind because you needed someone for a distraction and had to brief me, you both couldn't even acknowledge when I walk into a room, not even with a nod and don't say you knew what was happening in my life, I bet you didn't know I was diagnosed with severe depression and suicidal tendencies a month before I left." They both looked like they were in shock, I could relate as before they knew everything single detail of my life, it felt as though every thought and feeling went to waste in the month before I left.

I stood up to leave; I'd made it to the door when I was grabbed from behind. "I'm sorry" Tank said as I was swung around back into the room and I admit that I pathetically melted into his arms and cried into his shoulder as he sat on the couch. After a while he left making me promise to at least stay in touch with him as he had to go back home and he put me beside Ranger where pup was getting cosy and I looked up into his face to see his eyes suspiciously shiny and a single tear sliding down his face.

"I'm so sorry I ever treated you like that, you are not a job or an obligation, you are my friend and I love you" I looked up at him again. "Thank you and its good you're my friend to and I love you in my own way as well" he actually flinched away from me. "I'm sorry I'll go" I said as I stepped away from him and the tears increased even though I had no idea what I'd done wrong.

"Babe, please don't go and I'm sorry I ever said that, I love you in my own way as in with everything I am and have, please stay with me" I never thought I'd hear the day Ranger said that and I was happy and shocked at the same time, happy that he loves me as much as I always loved him but shocked that he had said it, I must have stayed silent to long and he'd taken it as rejection because he fell to the floor at my feet and was sobbing and begging.

"Babe, please queranda, I'm sorry, please" he kept repeating and I couldn't get a word in even as I tugged on his shirt and he gripped tighter around my stomach as if I would run. I dropped to my knees, "Ranger, babe please listen, I love you too with everything I am, and I'm not going to run or leave after you said that to me."

I fell to the floor with him and we just lay and held each other but we needed to talk. I stated this and we stayed up most of the night talking and sorting everything out and catching up but we both knew it wasn't going to last if we continued avoiding the reason why I left. "Ranger, you know I'm still not right in the head completely but I don't want to give up and I and pup have been doing well, it may seem cowardice to you but I won't be able to face Trenton for a while yet…" Ranger interrupted for once "We will work it out somehow Babe" He stated but I wasn't finished. "But if we're going to make this work you have to help me a little bit because of the thing that made me leave."

He made a go on motion as pup snuggled further between us. "I left because I couldn't take it anymore, I could take losing my job at Vinnies, I could take my friends and family outside of Rangeman disown me and some inside." I let that sink in for a few seconds while I gathered myself. "I don't know how to put this to you so it will make sense so I'm just going to put it out there; I don't mind most of that stuff, well I do but it wasn't what had the most impact, it was the silence, no one talked or said anything they just talked when they needed me and didn't really consider I might need them, they didn't say or show they cared or wanted anything to do with me, I felt like a convenience and it got to me, I was in a loud world where it was all just noise that didn't make sense, they talked at me and not to me, the final straw of my sanity being that you and Rex were silent to did me in after the many months, it was the isolation from the world, not knowing who really cares in the end it just destroyed me, the silence above the noise destroyed me Ranger, so I need to know now if I will always live in silence?"


End file.
